10 August 2017
Mr Goldberg and his assumptions
Today I repeat the little story about Mr Goldberg who so badly wanted to win the lottery. I really like these fables - for one reason or another they stick with me better than the usual theoretical musings. Here goes.
There once was a very religious Jew named Goldberg who wanted to win the lottery. He would go to the synagogue every Sabbath and pray: “God, I have been such a pious man all of my life. What would be so bad if I won the lottery?”. And the lottery would come, and Goldberg would not win. This went on week after week, month after month. Finally, one Sabbath, Goldberg couldn’t take it anymore, and cried out to the Almighty: “God, I have been so good, so observant. What do I have to do to win the lottery?”
And suddenly the heavens parted and the voice of God boomed out: “Goldberg, give me a chance. Buy a ticket.”
I can picture it so clearly. Goldberg had forgotten to make a clear agreement with the one he was expecting something from. He just assumed that God would take care of everything - given his pious life, he simply deserved it. However, he had not checked this assumption, and built his whole reasoning on it. He could have saved himself months of frustration if he had first discussed with God what He needed, so He could give him the chance to win the lottery. Goldberg had also made Him fully responsible.
Aren't we all doing this - assuming what others want or how others see things, without any further thought? Someone once said "Assumptions are the termites of relationships". One of the reasons why we let assumptions affect our relationships is that it is apparently easier for our brain to rely on our own assumptions than to be challenged to stretch and grow. It simply takes less energy to follow a well-worn habitual path than to stay open to new ways of thinking or other perspectives.
It is worthwhile to take a closer look at the assumptions you have about the persons with whom you have a personal or professional relationship. You could develop the habit to ask yourself if a certain assumption is really true. And what if it is not?
Take responsibility for your share in the situation (and let others be responsible for theirs). Far too often we act like Mr Goldberg, waiting and hoping that life will somehow unfold in a more fulfulling way but not actually buying the ticket. We might as well buy one and see what happens!
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Ancient Wisdom as a vaccine
In De Standaard of 21 April (one of the major local newspapers) there was a beautiful article entitled "Art as a vaccine in the post-corona era". Why wait for that post-corona era? Yesterday the parable "This too shall pass" ended up in my mailbox.
28 April 2020
The invisible dog or how being hard headed does not pay off
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. Humans excel in that. We somehow believe that if we keep trying harder we will ultimately succeed, even if we keep ending up with the same result, time and time again.
2 November 2018
From King of the Mountain to Swimming Champion
23 August 2018
What if email, mobile phones and social media did not exist?
12 July 2018
Don’t make change too complicated. Just begin.
14 June 2018
Why not take a mini-holiday
10 May 2018
Lost in deconstruction
"You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star" [Friedrich Nietzsche]
19 April 2018
How Dog had a breakthrough – a contemporary fable (part 2)
15 March 2018
How Cat & Dog should follow the example of Mouse, a contemporary fable
15 February 2018
Winter’s life lesson
21 November 2017
A juvenile delinquent dog or the price of adulthood
When we reach the age of adulthood we seem to have internalised all those responsibilities, expectations and limitations. As if the free creatures that we once were are forgotten.
18 January 2018
Lessons taught by wild geese
16 November 2017
Who is the King of Creation?
What if things were different from what we have always assumed? It can make you feel very unsafe to question your normal perspective. On the other hand it also offers incredible freedom and creativity to step outside the beaten track and become curious.
19 October 2017
From prey to predator and vice versa
From prey to predator and vice versa, the natural order put upside down. The animals themselves do not seem to be bothered by it - for sure Django isn’t, and the hens appear to find it quite normal to be on top of the food chain.
5 October 2017
How is your Monkey Mind?
We all have a Monkey Mind, Buddha said, with scores of monkeys, all demanding attention. The fear monkey is the loudest of them all, he is constantly ringing the alarm bell, drawing our attention to things we should be wary of and to everything that can go wrong.
21 September 2017
The parable of the businessman and the fisherman
We always have a choice: do we listen to our sabotaging inner voices or do we opt for what we really want, like the fisherman?
24 August 2017
Help!
Asking for help is something we struggle with and we will only ask when we have no other option. We believe that asking for help and putting ourselves in a vulnerable position is a sign of weakness. Asking for help creates a warm connection between the asker and the giver.
20 April 2017
What if ....?
What if you would use a different perspective to look at what you have always assumed to be the objective reality? Does objective reality as such even exist?
9 February 2017
Frieda just asks
Asking for help is something that is hard to do for a lot of us. Self-reliance and autonomy are highly respected in our individualistic society. Another aspect of asking for help is that we build up a 'debt' as it were, We also do not like to disturb others with our problems
18 February 2016
